Haiz...tat is what the 2 words that my dear gave to me... which really hurts me a lot... already my day have been bad enough being stressed out by my friends and also doing something good for my own school club... playing my part as a good leader... but yet... i guess... i also cannot handle the pressure... greatness was from my own dear... which i hope that he can understand me...
but instead... he was saying that i am the one who do not understand his feeling... I realli have not achieve what i wanted to achieve with him... just hoping that i am able to really take this chance to have a good dinner with him... being happy with him... but i guess... i am a bad boyfriend myself...
everytime i said something to him... he will just tell me that he is a bad boyfriend... cos he don't take care of me much... true... but i also dun hope... and i guess... to make him a bad boyfriend... it would also have to start with me being the bad one myself... and everytime i will tell him that...
Times and times again... i just hope that i can be happy when i am with him... but it seems times and times again... i just have to hurt myself... and also again...upset him... which i dun really hope... my only wish is that ... happy... tat is all i wanted for and i asked for and longed for... is it so difficult...
To say that i have failed again and again... i realli does not know when i will be able to do one good thing that can really make him feel happy being with me...
It is already 8 months together... and i want to see his happy face that i always see when i was with him in my first 3 months... but it seems so impossible...
I guess crying was the only option to release this big burden of mine... Temporarily... but not permanently...
Would realli have to thanks my bitch... Jasper... for listening to me cry... i have no one to confide in liao... if not for him... Thanks a lot....
Today... i will be back in school again... for another club activities... and dear will be going to sch... for now... my only wish is realli simple... just hope everything between me and dear would not affect the day again...
And reminiscing with ATOMIC KITTEN songs... it is so nice... feel better when i am listening to their love songs... seems very comforting... and also meaningful... some realli relates to me and dear's love story... but i guess... even if i ask dear to listen to it... he will not understand me again...
To my dear Daniel... my only wish to you... if u ever able to see my blog... is that... I love you a lot no matter what... and my only wish the two of us being together is just to be happy together... nothing more... with hapiness fulfilled... i guess... i am already grateful to have you around... :(
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